In my restless dreams, I see that town. Silent Hill. You promised you´d take me there again someday. But you never did. Well I´m alone there now... In our " special place"... Waiting for you... Waiting for you to come to see me. But you never do and so I wait, wrapped in my caccoon of pain and loneliness. I know I´ve done a tarable thing to you, something you´ll never forgive me for. I wish I could change that but I can´t. I feel so pathetic and ugly laying here, waiting for you. Every day I stair up at the cracks in the ceiling and all I can think about is how unfair it all is. The doctor came today, he told me I could go home for a short stay. Its not that I am getting better, its just that this maybe my last chance, I think you know what I mean. Even so I am glad to be coming home I´ve missed you tarably but... I´m afraid James, I´m afraid you don´t really want me to come home.When ever you come see me I can tell how hard it is on you. I don´t know if you hate me or pitty me or maybe i discust you. I´m sorry about that. When I first learned I was going to die, I just didn´t want to except it. I was so angry all the time and I struck out at everyone I loved most, especially you James. Thats why I understand if you do hate me but I want you to know this James. I´ll always love you. Even though our life together had to end like this. I still wouldn´t trade it for the world. We had some wonderful years together. Well, this letter has gone on to long, so I´ll say goodbye. I told the nurse to give this to you after I´m gone, that means that as you read this I´m already dead. I can´t tell you to remember me but I can´t bare for you to forget me these last few years since I became ill. I am so sorry for what I did to you, did to us. You´ve given me so much and I haven´t been able to return a single thing. Thats why I want you to live, for yourself now. Do whats best for you James. James... you made me happy.
