,jai décider de faire ma fic perso,mais....ce serat une fic humoristique!!!!!! le narrateur(mwa )parlera et le héros et les autres perso de l´histoire,aller je commence:

Narrateur:il était un fois...
héros:comment sa il était une fois??? tes con ou quoi saute l´intro!!!
narrateur:ok,ok,bon te voilas a l´éditeur de perso,quel race veut tu?,mais en premier choisis un nom!
héros:mhhhh...jean-paul
n(narrateur):non!!!!!!!,disons plutot...Darko,sa te va
h(heros):oui!!!
n:bon maintenant,race,t´aimerait elf noir??
darko:nahhhhhhhh ,ils font peur avec leur yeux rouge!!!
n: ,bon,alors,quest-ce que tu veut??
d(darko):mmhhhh...Kajhiit!!!
n:ok,age???
d:tres jeune!!!

apres 2 heures de création,ils avait finis

n:ok darko, tu commence, attends l´empereur.
d:quoi,il en voye l´empereur meme pour me couper la tete!?!?!?
n:non,c´est l´histoire qui fait sa!
d:ah ok

darko fit un code quil lui dona un arc,il le banda et tirat en direction de celui qui avait la cellule en face de lui,mais il le rata

dun coup un main géante sortit de nule par et donna une claque en arriere de la tete de darko,c´est celle du narrateur!!

n:merde,darko, fait pas de code!
d:mais j´aime pas la tete du type en face de moi!!
n:

est-ce que la rencontre de l´empereur et de darko ce passera bien??est-ce que le narrateur fera une dépression???
écouter le prochin épisode pour le savoir!!!

t´as pas d´autre truc à faire par hasard

ouais comme aller voir ma FIC lol

moi j´aime bien je trouve sa marrant un peu con mais marrant

1)apprends à écrire
2) j´ai pas souri une seule fois donc va plutôt lire un livre de blagues
conclusion: fic à chier

franchement se trouve que le concept est innovant mais t´a façon d´écire ca laisse à désirer

Quelle mentalité sérieux les gars. Le gosse il a 11 ans et vous vous foutez de lui par ce qu´il ecrit mal et l´histoire vous fais pas rire.

ok,les mec,je vais soigner mon écriture,demain je fais l´épisode 2(pas maintenant je manque d´inspirations),je vais essayer d´etre le plus drole possible

c´est quoi au juste cette histoire de Fic ;
je sais pas si vous avez bien besoin d´inspiration mais la question me brule la gorge et je sais pas vraiment ce çelà veut dire
(ça ne veut pas dire que je suis contre la question c´est que je savoir)
en plus avec cette qualité de narration si l´un de vous a l´étoffe d´un écrivain ben je vous dis que etes encore loin du compte l´histoire fait pitié pas rire (hé Graffeur_102 c de toi que je parle)faut lire pour pouvoir écrire commence par les petites annecdotes d´Oblivion et SURTOUT n´essaye pas d´etre drole si jamais tu écris fais en sorte que ça soit qqchose de TON inconscience
(t´es pas un clown ;s i seulment si tu veux en devenir un çelà te regarde...)

aaaaaaaaaaaakh ....je déteste quand je fais la morale ...mais qui -suis je d´abord pour le faire...... écris ce tu veux comme bon te semble

LeBalrog Posté le 15 août 2007 à 23:22:53
Quelle mentalité sérieux les gars. Le gosse il a 11 ans et vous vous foutez de lui par ce qu´il ecrit mal et l´histoire vous fais pas rire.

J´ai douze ans et je te ponds quand tu veux un récit 5 fois mieux que ça, bien présenté et sans faute.
Et puis s´il n´est pas capable d´écrire une fic humouristique, donnant envie d´être lue, et bien il n´as cas tout simplement pas en faire, comme ça il ne passera pas pour l´abruti du forum.

De toute façon ta pseudo-histoire sensée être humouristique n´est pas conforme aux règles concernant les fics :

https://www.jeuxvideo.com/forums/1-10220-590763-1-0-1-0-0.htm

Un conseil, n´écris pas la suite et laisse couler ce topic, car de toute façon il sera locké un jour ou l´autre par un modérateur vu qu´il désobéit aux règles du forum.

...

NO SIRE je m´en fou pas du tout de lui je lui juste qu´il faut prendre l´écriture au sérieux pas le contraire

tien et je vais lui montrer l´exemple lis ça

tiens lis ça tu m´as éveiller

VALEN DREATH
Memories of the Unbreachable cell

3E422 year of Mara
TIRDAS- the Dragon Throne Hall

"remove his chains Lestius,Dunmers with sharp toungs are not suited for iron and steel" said Empror Uriel Septim son of Pelgius with his long echoed soft voice
"sire,this one should be casted down to oblivion itself;for what he´ve done it´s no..."
"the chains ,Lestius,for what he´ve done we shall be well warned..."
"A..as you,command sire"
the imperial guardsman knelt removing the rusty chains from the blue legs of the Dunmer while another took care of removing those of his hands
"my ...my i guess it´s another rather sepcial treatment of favor that i do have the honor to be entrusted with from your kind and royal spirit my Empror"
"SILENCE... you filthy dog let me remind that you´re in the very presence of Tameriel´s ruler ...keep your toung behind your teeth..."shrieked the high chancellor Ocato with wide opened eyes of fury; the Dunmer knelt befor the chancellor with a nasty smile on his blue sharp edged face;his eyes did´nt left the sight of Uriel Septim´s face

"my full respect high chancellor ..his highness will excuse Valen Dreth´s words for i wasnt awed by such presence for the mere years of my short life i did not wanted but to show how faithful i am towards my empror"

"a fainted star...a marked destiny...swims in anger...confusion...and the fear of the void ...as exactely as i had thought...you might keep your respect for your humble faith for i am not here to award your loyalty nor your trust...you...i´ve seen much of the likes of you getting astray for ages to come with no sparkes of hope in their skies...
but shall my heart will not be without pity" ending those words the Empror took his long breath as his lips whispered some unheard words

"i am to deal with you... shall your little wisdom that guide your toung to such speeches be in your aid "said the Empror with a deep voice of a lord

"i´am still yours to command ,sire" whispered Valen Dreath

"you shall be jailed,for what purpuse? that i will be not the one to care
it´s for the gods to forgive;for how long? that i will be not the one to know for this is up to you to decide..."

"sire..how.."the Chanceloor interrupet his words as the Empror rose his right hand claiming silence and obedience

"you shall be jailed in my of cell beneath the prison tower,and i will not care how long you will be in there ...the gods will grant you their forgiveness or send for their avenger;if you get out before the time of the next falling star your freedom will be the forgiveness of the gods and i shall not interfere with their judgement and you be free of guardsmen and my authoritt for none authority shall be beyond the will of gods
if you fail...your stat will be forfeit and for unnumebred years i will defer to the wrath of your judges...what say you... fainted star"

"a fair deal your higness...for years to come Tamriel shall not forget the name of Valen Dreath the one who escaped from the Imperial darken prison..."

"Lestius...the fainted star have judged itsef worthy of your hospitable cells"said the empror from behin his guardsmen before he ´ve risen from the Dragon throne and left the great imperial hall to his private quarters

the remaining guards formed up before escorting the dunmer under good caution ;O cato ,the high chancellor,exanched good glances of a understandable meaning with Lestius

"high chancellor ;s hould i?!"...asked lestius with a hardened voice
"the Empror made himself clear Lestius ,Valent Dreath is nothig but a fainted star just make sure that it´ll a dying one soon enough"
"as you command lord" lestius left the dragon throne hall with an echoed
footsteps

Tirdas-IMERIAL PRISON

"how this looks to you,a good sight isn´t it ...yes ..yes you will be close friend with those dark wall dear Valen... i assure you..."said Lestius with a great smile drawn of his face absorbed in the darkness of the downstairs cells

"i will get out you filthy dog ,i don´t know how i ´ve kept my self too much before the empror by i seems that i know now how you are doing so well
with your remarquable stupidity...i would not step foot in here if it was´nt for the wisdom of your leader..."said Valen with a more deeper and vengeful smile

"get out? i will be too amazed...any way this cell is all yours keep your toung sharp and w´ll see how long it will take before it can make a good hole in these walls..Nihahahahahahaah...enjoy your stay ...and by the way
Adameus Phillada sends his regards..."

"you..dog... i shall feast on your flesh wait ´till i get out"shouted Valen as Lestius and His guards left the cell to stair and closed every gate behind them

"a good walls... igeuss it won´t be easy through walls ehh.."thinked Valen
he made few rouns in the his small cell the walls were indeed of rockstone cold and mighty not even a small scrath of a former resident ;a rotten stonemade cube with no t even a hole of window that would pass even a shadowy breath of air
he´ve shaken the iron bars oh the cell´s gate not an inch he could move it
the gate well lucked were heaviest than the thought as they were made of the ebony not iron
but he did not gave up he tried so many timess than he could even remember
with each passing day the ties of his hope were losing their strengh
he noticed that the cell was made to be effectivly unbreatchable
no matter what he tried the gate remained unbreakable it was heavier than the nasty smiles of the his jailor
as the days passed down one after another the smile of the jailor was growing even larger ;V alen lost his cold temper for so long already
his madness could´nt decephier that smile
"are they playing with my mind it´s not cruelty for i´ve grown up reconzing the cruel and the mad it´s something else ;i ´am not at the end of my rope yet;it´s not the end of Valen Dreath even the delay i was guarned is near ending ´i am not yet..."he whispred

3E433 YEAR OF AKATOSH
SUNDUS-IMPERIAL PRISON

"it´s over Dreath...it seems that you rot in here for the two remaining years of your miserable life of jail dont you happy? the empror ´s words were right ehh...the guards of his lordship will soon bring you one that should keep you company ´till their ...dont say that we didnt loved you ehh..."said the jailor with the same smile of the bloody vampire

"ahh i ´ve should known that you are preparing somthing for me i knew i could have more fun than the monkeys and dogs to keep me busy in charming little cell..."

"no no you wil have real fun it your turn after all for i haven´t seen such a fun of my life time "

"fun...fun?!! you think that keeping the gates closed and the ass wet all the time is funny i envy you you have such immagination"

"no my litte Valen the gate of cell IS THE FUNNY if only you kept pulling it to your side instead of pushing it; you would be a freeman for many years already;now that deal is over you shall be our guest to the final day of your miserable life...NIHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...."

Il a tenté sa chance avec une fic et c´était sa premiere si il veut continuer et réussir il faut qu´il tienne compte des remarques mais pas besoin de lui dire qu´il est nul.On peut lui expliquer calmement ce qui ne va pas dans sa fic (meme si je suis d´accord qu´il y a beaucoup trop de fautes). Laissez le faire la deuxieme partie et s´il ne tiens pas compte de vos remarques laissez couler le topic.