Bonjour, je dois rendre des lettres de motivation aujourd'hui, un anglophone pourrait il me corriger ?

"Dear Sir or Madam,

Presently I am a third year student in the management department of the Paris 1 Panthéon Sorbonne University, I would like to make an exchange in the national Chengchi University in Taiwan for the second semester of the scholastic year 2016/2017. I think that an exchange in Asia and particurlaly in Taiwan is a great opportunity that cant be missed. There is some reasons for me to apply in Taiwan.

The first one is that Asia and Taiwan have a fascinating culture. I would really enjoy to visit all the island, to discover an outstanding gastronomy and to speak with taiwanese.
The second reason is that i heard very good return about taiwanese that would be really respectful, polite and friendly.
Finally, the university looks like of the very good level and seems located in a perfect place. I plan to take a lot of chinese language course in addition to a lot of management and financial course that fit with my current formation. I think that see the management from a different point of view is a great opportunity.
I hope that i will live a great experience and learn a lot in the Taiwan university and that i will leave with the envy of return very fast.
I am aware that this exchange requires commitment and hard work and I am ready to invest
myself fully. I also see the amazing opportunity it offers. Therefore you can be assured of my motivation.

Thank you for taking the time to consider this application and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future

Yours faithfully"

Dear Sir or Madam,

Currently in third years at the university of Paris 1 Panthéon Sorbonne, I have the expediency to do a university exchange program.
Being interested by Asia, and particularly by China, the possibility to do a university exchange is a great opportunity to seize. Therefore, I wish to apply to the Tianjin University School of Economics and Management.

Many reasons push me to apply.
Firstly, this course will enable me to acquire managerial skills that complement those i acquired in the Sorbonne. I would like to see things from a different point of view. Beside, employers all around the world value stay in China that is already the first world economic power. I also plan to take a lot of chinese language course to be able to understand people.
Secondly, Chinese culture is absolutely fascinating. In my opinion it is the only one country’s culture and history that surpass French’s. I want to see the Great Wall of China, Beijin or Chineses temples. I also want to discuss with chinese people or to taste as much as possible dishes. Yes, I definitly want to discover more of this country and of its culture.
Finally, i would really enjoy to live in a totally « different world », far from French customs and traditions

I am aware that this exchange requires commitment and hard work and I am ready to invest
myself fully. I also see the amazing opportunity it offers. Therefore you can be assured of my motivation.

Thank you for taking the time to consider this application and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future

Yours faithfully

employers all around the world value stay in China that is already the first world economic power

=> employers all around the world value a stay in China, the world's first economic power
(first world = pays développés)

"In my opinion it is the only one country’s culture and history that surpass French’s"

à éviter je pense

Faut pas leur lécher le cul en effet.. et encore moins dire que la culture française est deuxième.
Sinon, tu dis à aucun moment pourquoi ils devraient te prendre ? qu'est-ce que tu leur apportera ? mets tes qualités en avant.

Ah bien vu je ne parle que de découvrir le pays.
Merci les gars je vais refaire ça