BREAKING NEWS:
Toilet-paper researchers create 3-ply tissue
Tue Sep 16, 3:37 PM ET NEENAH, Wis. - If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that's what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.
Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.
The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."
Industry analyst Bill Schmitz is skeptical. He said extra layers make toilet paper stronger, not softer, although he said Georgia Pacific may have added extra fibers for softness.
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"Well, now I'm faced with the challenge of adapting my wiping habits to conform to modern technology. With a single ply, I can spin off a roll to my hearts content without worrying about plugging up the loo. Two ply is more of a challenge, forcing me to limit the wads of softened goodness for fear of the dreadful, water-soaked expansion that occasionally results in a trip to the basement to fetch the plunger. Three ply may force me to flip the handful over to use the other side."
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"This is surely the technological breakthrough of the century."