JD: Hey Miss Miller, we just need a stool sample
Miss Miller: Why do you need a stool sample if you think I´m just a nut?
JD and Turk: Cus the answers not in your head my dear, it´s in your butt
JD: You see, everything comes down to poo, from the top of your head to the sole of your shoe, we can figure out what´s wrong with you by, looking at your poo, TURK!
Turk: Do you have a haemorrhoid or is it rectal cancer? When you flush your dookie down you flush away the answer
JD: It doesn´t really matter if it´s hard or if it´s loose, we´ll figure out what´s ailing you as long as it´s a doose! YES! Everything comes down to poo, cardiovascular and lymphatic, yes the nervous system too!
All: Everything comes down to poo
JD: All across the nation, we trust in defecation, everything comes down to poo
Turk: If you want to know what´s wrong don´t sit and act so cool, just be a man and eat some bread, and drop the kids off at the pool!
Woman 1: My stomach hurts
JD: Check the poo
Woman 2: I sprained my ankle
Turk: Check the poo
Man 1: I was shot
JD: Check the poo
Man 2: A homeless guy threw poo in my eye
Turk: Check the poo
Man 2: Mine or his?!
JD: First him then you!
JD and Turk: It may sound gross, you may say shush, but we need to see what comes out of your tush BECAUSE,
All: Everything comes down to poo, whether it´s a tumour or a touch of the flu,
JD and Turk: Please won´t you pitch yourself a big, fat clue
Turk: Our number 1 test is your number 2
All: If there´s no grease, light a match please, everything comes down to
JD: Doo doo
Turk: Doo doo
JD: Doo doo
Turk: Doo doo
All: Everything comes down to poo!
