Bonjour je doit faire un article sur une cause qui me tient à coeur, et j'ai fait sur l'eau pouvez m'indiquer mes erreurs ou me proposer des suggestions de constuction de phrases:

Today, we will focus on water problem in world which to the best of knowledge is an significant problem, especially his distribution .

Every day a child dies because of water lack. I really do think it's unfair. We wasting a lot of water,how unbelievable! While in others countries , people don't have it, or at least it is not drinking . As far as I kwow , if we continue on this path , it will disappear. After that,I can't help thinking that the man is selfish, despite that problem, we wasting always more . Im do hungry, it's really uncomprehensible.what a shame for us!

Concerning the water lack, the continent the more disadvantaged is africa, we have to propose our help, but there are many other countries of the world that are severely impacted with regard to human health and inadequate drinking water.Moreover, we are in situtation of water crises.Water crisis is a general term used to describe a situation where the available water within a region is less than the region's demand. The term has been used to describe the availability of potable water in a variety of regions by the United Nations and other world organizations.

Finally , the countries which are developed can render drinking this water, and countries like Saudi Arabia wast the water without valid reasons. it's really aberrant.Wow! We must act now.

up

svp juste un coup de pouce

Today, we will focus on water problem in world which to the best of knowledge is an significant problem, especially his distribution .

=> Today, I will talk about (c'est plus standard...) world water issues ("problem" ici n'est pas le mieux adapté), and a special focus will be given to water distribution.

Every day a child dies because of water lack. I really do think it's unfair.

=> Everyday a child dies because of local water shortages ("lack" n'est ici pas le meilleur terme... mieux vaut utiliser "shortage" qui met en avant la pénurie d'eau plutôt que le manque d'eau - c'est plus fort !). I really do think it is unfair (Ok "do" à l'oral qui renforce ta conviction... mais à éviter à l'écrit). Au passage "injuse" est un peu "light" non ?

We wasting a lot of water,how unbelievable! While in others countries , people don't have it, or at least it is not drinking.

=> We waste a lot of water (c'est qui "we"), which is a shame knowing that in some countries people cannot get any water, whether we are talking about drinkable or undrinkable water.

As far as I kwow , if we continue on this path , it will disappear. After that,I can't help thinking that the man is selfish, despite that problem, we wasting always more . Im do hungry, it's really uncomprehensible.what a shame for us!

=> I am convinced that if we continue to waste water, it will disappear in the near future. Taking this into consideration, I cannot prevent myself from thinking that human beings are selfish and stupid. Even though we do know that we are going to face a worldwide crisis, we don't take it into account and we only think to our own individual profits. I cannot understand why people behave this way and it frustrates me a lot.

Pour le reste je reviendrai plus tard... si quelqu'un n'est pas passé

merci beaucoup pour votre aide, effectivement sa serait une nouvelle très gentil de votre part

Concerning the water lack, the continent the more disadvantaged is africa, we have to propose our help, but there are many other countries of the world that are severely impacted with regard to human health and inadequate drinking water.Moreover, we are in situtation of water crises.Water crisis is a general term used to describe a situation where the available water within a region is less than the region's demand. The term has been used to describe the availability of potable water in a variety of regions by the United Nations and other world organizations.

Undoubtedly, the continent suffering the most from water shortages is Africa. We absolutely have to help Africans face this issue. Many other countries are impacted by this problem. Needless to say that human health is at stake. We actually are in a period of crisis. In fact, the term "water crisis" has been used by the United Nations and other organisations to describe the unavailability of potable water in a variety of regions.

Finally , the countries which are developed can render drinking this water, and countries like Saudi Arabia wast the water without valid reasons. it's really aberrant.Wow! We must act now.

=> Je ne comprends pas ta première phrase...

en fait je veux dire que les pays industrialisé peuvent rendre potable cette eau contraiment aux autres