Salut

Bon voilà, je dois rendre une expression écrite en anglais pour demain et j'ai besoin de votre aide.

Je l'ai faite mais je pense qu'il y a des fautes et j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à les corriger si c'est possible.
Je dois aussi suivre des critères donc si vous pouviez me donner des idées pour convenir aux mieux aux demandes ce serait cool.

You are a journalist working for Speakeasy. You want to tackle the topic of Immigration in the UK in your next article. To do so, you speak about the life of a young migrant in London. Tell about his/her life (past, present, future). Imagine but be coheren with historical facts.

Follow the criteria :
-Explain why he/she left his/her home country
-How he/she arrived in London
-Tell about the first days there
-Explain the difficulties he/she had to meet and his/her hopes
-Show why you spoke about thie theme, as a journalist.

Don't forget to focus on :
-Grammar (use the correct tense) + complex structure
-Adjectives (feelings...)
-Spelling and precise vocabulary
-Parts respected
-Coherent of the article
-Frame of the article ( a title, a subtitle, the autor...)

His History
Recently, a man crossed the world to flee misery and bad life conditions. It’s Ali Yabu who lived in Pakistan.
His old Life
“In Pakistan, the life was horrible, i was poor, I could not feed me every day. I have seen lots of people to die because of undernourishment I had taken everything to leave my country, I had heard of the rich countries and my dream was to immigrate there.” Ali says.
After successfully to find a flight and to prepare his arrived, Ali used all his life savings to go to the UK.

His new life and some problems
Once in London, the first day, Ali went to Immigration Officer to take his papers, British passport and he fell that people looked at him nastily. “They look at me nastily and one of them told me: Return to your country, decay !” He adds.
The first days for Ali were difficult. In his work, his colleagues didn’t speak him because he wasn’t English-born.
The soon, he went to a shop to buy some articles. “A seller told me he didn’t sell to foreigners” Ali says
Intolerants are really present in Uk and for immigrants, it’s hard to settle if people are like that!
Moreover, when he required the time a man, the individual laughed and refused “you don’t have enough money to buy a watch, Indian ?”
Ali has been shocked to see the disrespect of this man.
How should we react to that? We must remain idle? No, we should delete xenophobia.
According to Ali, there was a colour bar. The white supremacy was being felt. “But I have not been harassed or the others scapegoat”
Now Ali is married and has 2 children. “I had really really lucky to find my wife, it’s she who allowed me to keep hope!” Ali say
The young man hopes that he will be able to open his restaurant. He will cook traditional dishes
It’s important to show all people that immigrants’ life is not easy and we must help them to be integrate in the society, xenophobia, racism, sexism, homophobia are present in Uk and it is our duty to remove it !

Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

Salut! Je vais essayer de t'aider, bien que je n'ai pas un excellent niveau en anglais.

Ton texte a l'air pas mal, par contre il y a quelques fautes que je peux corriger:

• "I have seen lots of people to die" "I have seen lots of people dying"
• I had taken everything to leave my country" Je pense que le prétérit serait mieux approprié ici: " I took everything..."
• "After successfully to find..." "After successfully finding a flight..."
• "His colleagues didn't speak him" "His colleagues didn't speak to him"
• Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire par "The soon"? Je ne pense pas que ça se dit, après tout dépend de ce que tu veux dire.
• When he required the time a man" Utilise plutôt une forme comme: "When he asked for the time to a man..."
• Ali has been shocked" "Ali was shocked" (ici aussi, je pense que le prétérit va mieux)
• We must remain idle?" "Must we...?"
• I had really really lucky to find" "I was really really lucky to find"
• It's she who allowed me to keep hope" "It's her who made me keep hope"
• "We must help them to be integrate" "...to be integrated"

Voilà, j'espère t'avoir bien aidé, enfin, s'il n'est pas trop tard. Bonne journée