Bonjour,

J'ai une rédaction à faire en anglais et j'aimerais que vous me donneriez votre avis sur ce que j'ai fais.
Y a-t-il des fautes ? Les arguments sont-ils potables ? En voyez-vous d'autres ? J'ai pas trop d'idée pour ma conclusion, auriez-vous des idées ?

Le sujet est : Do you like detective stories ? Explain why ...

A detective stories is a fiction in which there is a murder. The detective is the man who will find the assassin. The detective may be a professional or not. The most famous detective are Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot. The detective stories can be novels or films but we will speak about novels. In first, I will be explain why we can don’t like detective stories then I will be explain why we can like detective stories with the aim of judging the two points of view.

There is a lot of suspense in the detective stories, this is why we can understand only at the end what the occurred. We must be think about the clues to find the murderer but we rarely find because the writer traps us. Moreover, the detective stories’s writer always write their history in the same way. Everyone always suspects somebody who is innocent expect the detective who find the guilty. So the detective always find clues that nobody has seen. Finally it’s not as in true because the policemen don’t make as in the novel. So we don’t really learn in a detective story because the methods aren’t the policemen’s methods.

There is a lot of suspense in the detective stories, but it’s what is interesting, because we want to read the rest to know the murderer. The suspense created an atmosphere. So we search the murderer like the detective and even we don’t finally find, we were fascinated by the history. Thanks to detective story we can learn during we read because the detective uses policemen’s expressions. The methods are also often the same even the written sometimes imagine. Moreover we are always surprised when the detective find the murderer. Finally we can being a detective with detective stories and it’s interesting.

In conclusion I think that detective stories look like reality even if the writer adds a atmosphere.

Merci d'avance

J'essaye de te corrigé les plus grosses fautes

l3 Enlève le The devant detective

l4 remplace "we can don't like", par "some people hate"
enlève le "be" à la fin

l5 je comprend pas la fin

l8 remplace "the detective stories’s writer " par "writers"
remplace "history" par "story"

l9 remplace "expect the detective who find the guilty" par "except the detective who find the man who is guilty"

l10 remplace "Finally it’s not as in true because the policemen don’t make as in the novel." par
"Finally it’s not as in the real life because every policemen are not Sherlock Holmes"

l13 remplace "There is a lot of suspense in the detective stories, but it’s what is interesting" par
"What is interesting in detective stories is that there is a lot of suspence, indeed we want...."

l14 remplace "rest" par "end of the book"
remplace "So we search the murderer like the detective and even we don’t finally find"
"So, as we were a detective, we try to find who is the murderer, but we always fail"

l15 "history" devient "story"

l16 stories

l18 remplace "being" par "be"

l20 an atmosphere

Y'a trop de fautes.

Remplace "like" par genre "love", "relish", "enjoy", trop de répétition sinon.

"The most famous detectiveS"

"I will be explain why we can don’t like detective "

Y'a pas de be, ici, c'est will explain. Et remplace we can don't like par we may not like/love/enjoy etc.

We must be think about, pareil, pas de be.

"Moreover, detective stories's writers ARE always write in the same way"

"There is a lot of suspense in detective stories, THAT'S WHY we can understand THE WHOLE STORY ONLY at the end."

"The methods are also often the same even IF the writteR sometimes INVENT."

Trop de répétition avec "detective"

etc.

Version corrigée

Do you like detective stories ? Explain why ...

A detective story is a fiction where there is a murder. The detective is the man who will find the murderer. The detective may be a professional or not. The most famous detective are Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot. The detective stories can be novels or films but we will speak about novels. In first, I will explain you the reasons why we can like detective stories or not with the aim of confronting the two points of view.

s somebody who is innocent except the detective who finds the sulprit. So the detective always find clues that nobody has seen. Finally it’s not as in true because the policemen don’t do like in the novel. So we don’t really learn in a detective story because the methods aren’t the policemen’s methods.

There is a lot of suspense in the detective stories, but it’s what is interesting, because we want to read the rest to know the murderer. The suspense creates an atmosphere. So we search the murderer like the detective and even if we don’t finally find, we were fascinated by the plot. Thanks to detective story we can learn while we read because the detective uses policemen’s expressions. The methods are also often the same even the writer sometimes imagines. Moreover we are always surprised when the detective finds the murderer. Finally we can become a detective with detective stories and it’s interesting.

In conclusion I think that detective stories look like reality even if the writer adds a atmosphere.

Quelques observations:

-Utilise "stories" au pluriel" et "story" au singulier
-On écrit "We must think" et pas "We must be think"
-N'oublie le S à la 3è personne du singulier
-Si tu veux exprimer la possession avec un terme terminanant ajoute juste l'apostrophe Moses' rules
-Expect signifie "s'attendre à quelque chose" à ne pas confondre avec except qui signifie "sauf"

Et merci c'est pour les chiens?

Bien le topic floodé et le déterrage ?
Allez hop demande de ban !