Bonjour tout le monde !

Voilà j´ai du faire une petite rédaction pour demain en Anglais, et vue mon niveau extrêmement faible, je poste mon sujet afin d´être corrigé si vous le voulez bien.

En gros je devais faire une rédac( sur les points positifs et négatifs sur internet.

Voici c que j´ai écrit...

Intro :

(J´ai mis un petit texte de présentation que j´ai chopé sur Wiki´...)
We show that this service present large advantage but he posses some drawback...

Développement :

Positif :

Thanks to internet, we can communicate and learn informations without need have move of a home. The shopping can be carry on the different web sit and the livrer at home during only some day.
The forum´s allow express her ideas on the divers themes. We can find good informationon all like for exemple the sit "wikiopedia".
We can meeting people of different contry of the world thanks the chat online like MSN Messenger or email that allow talk in live. And with a webcam, we can see the person with who we talk.
Internet is, above all, a tool of share. Millions people use software "pear to pear" for download divers files like musics, movies, programs, etc...
Some people create a blog for shown fotos and the news on theire life every day.

Négatif :

But internet present, all the same, some failings.
Sometimes when we discuss with a stranger, we can´t know who he is really. Maybe the character lie on her personality and he can make know that he want.
We find sometimes fake informations on the actuality for exemple that we can find on the forums or the not official sit web.
Unfortunately, somebody people sent virus by the mail-box of many people. The virus consist in doing cut out the other computers.

Conclusion :

We have shown in some exemples among so much other that we cn find good and bad thing on internet.
We can find the worse like the must.

Voilà c´est finie. Je l´ai fais à la va vite, donc les idées ne son pas géniales, mais je recherche avant tout les erreures d´expression que je viens de faire et savoir comment les corriger.

Merci d´avance, et bonne fin d´après midi.

HS : J´ai eu peur d´un certain retour.

De quoi :queestion:

Rien, ne fais pas gaffe. ^^

We show that this service presentS large advantage but he posses some drawbackS...

Développement :

Positif :

Thanks to internet, we can communicate and learn informations without movING of his/her home. The shopping can be carry on the different web sit and the (livrer)? at home during only some day.
The forums allow express her ideas on the divers (themes)? . We can find good informationon (all like for exemple)? the sit "wikiopedia".
We can meet people of different coUntry of the world thanks the chat online like MSN Messenger or email that allow TO talk in live. And with a webcam, we can see the person with who we ARE talkING.
Internet is, above all, a tool of share. Millions people use software "peEr to peEr" TO download A FEW files like musics, movies, programs, etc...
Some people create a blog TO shoW PICTURES and (the news on theiR life) (mal dit) every day.

Négatif :

But internet presentS, (all the same)?, some failings.
Sometimes when we discuss with a stranger, we can´t know who he is really. Maybe the character lie on her personality and he can make know that he want.
We find sometimes FALSE informations on the actuality for exemple that we can find on the forums or the not official sit web.
Unfortunately, A FEW people senD virus by the mail-box of many people. The virus consistS (in doing cut)? out the other computers.

Conclusion :

We have shown in some exAmples among so much other that we cAn find good and bad thingS on internet.
We can find the worse like the BEST.

J´aurais mis lle download dans les aspects négatifs, pour équilibrer. Et tu peux developper, genre "le download tue les disques", un truc comme ca

Le "corrigez-moi", je suppose ^^

J´ai aussi eu peur au départ, j´ai failli en lacher ma canette de coke...

Merci beaucoup HLL.

Je vais réflechir pour le download...

ah,n attends, y´a une partie que j´avais pas vu

Sometimes when we discuss with a stranger, we can´t know who he is really. Maybe the character lieS on her/his personality and he (can make know that he want)?.

Essaye de le faire en réfléchissant bien à la grammaire...

merci.