If I had magic power for one day,
I would give myself immortality ,i would have money forever ,I would make the other cars disappear in order to be the only driver on the motorway, and thus drive faster. i would be as strong as Hercule.
I would make the earth turn as quickli as the light.
I would fly in the sky by puting the wing on my back.
Finally, I would carry out the wishes of the members of my familly.

voila ma redaction dont le sujet est : si vous avz des pvr magic pour un jour , que feriez vous ?

mais j´aimerai qu´un personne me corrig ce texte et aussi d´essayer d´enlever les would du conditionnel svp

merci

Le prof aurait sans doute preferé des "je rétablirai la peine dans le monde"

Rétablir la peine ?

rapia

retablir la paix*

mais moi je veux jsute que quelqu´un me corrige mon style de redaction en anglais donc la forme des phrase , cocordance des temps ...
et apparament vous avez plein d´iée , vous pouvez m´en mettre svp

as quickly as light.
carry out the wishes : tu as du chercher dico pour ce mot, mais on utilise plus carry on pour le sens réaliser un projet, une recherche... Cependant cest peut etre cette forme qu´on utilise pour wishes, mais j´en doute.

fulfill ou achieve à mon avis :/

il y a que ça comme faute ? tu pourrais mas faire en sort que le would apparait le mooin de fois possible

?

As quickly as light = At the speed of light

mais moi je veux seulement mon style de redaction tel que la forme des phrase , la repition de would ...

if i had magic power , i would give myself immortality , and i would have forever. I would have a collection of sport car , i would disappear in order to be the only driver on the motorway and thus drive faster.
I would be the strongest man of the world . I would stop the time to visit all countrie.
I would restor the peace in the world.
I would meet Triple H who is the wrestling superstar.
I would ressustate my brother and my sisters who are died.
Finally , i would achieve the wishes of member of my familly .

if i had magic power , i would give myself immortality , and i would have forever. I would have a collection of sport car , i would disappear in order to be the only driver on the motorway and thus drive faster.
I would be the strongest man of the world . I would stop the time to visit all countrie.
I would restor the peace in the world.
I would meet Zinedine Zidane , the soccer superstar. I would restor the peace in the world.
I would ressuscitate my brother and my sisters who are died.
Finally , i would achieve the wishes of member of my familly .

maitnenant, je veux jsute un emilleur style de redaction comme la repiton du would , la forme des phrase

and i would have forever have money
I would have a collection of sport car sport cars
i would disappear in order to be the only driver make the other cars disappear
to visit all countrie all the countries
I would restor the peace in the world restore
I would ressuscitate my brother and my sisters who are died I would raise my brother and my sisters from the dead
Finally , i would achieve the wishes of member of my familly Finally, I would grant the wishes of the members of my family.

Pour la répétition de would, difficile d´éviter ça avec l´utilisation du conditionnel. En français, on aurait des "-erais" à toutes les sauces : je donnerais, j´aurais, je ferais, j´arrêterais, je rétablirais...

sinnon , tu m´aurai mis combien sur 20?

Have money = avoir la vie éternelle?J´en doute. xD

From the dead?Death,non?

on va dire avec toutes ces modification , j´aurai combien sur 20 environ ?

Have money = avoir la vie éternelle?J´en doute. xD

dans sa présentation initiale il dit have money

From the dead?Death,non?

je trouverais ça aussi plus logique mais c´est ce que dit le dico...