Pour demain, j´avais une petite rédac en anglais...

Sujet : Would you stop seeing your family if they disapproved of your choice of a career ?

Voilà ce que j´ai fait :

Let’s imagine... I want to try a career far from my home... But there is a problem... A big problem : my family doesn’t want. I can’t do what I want, but I can’t also miss this fabulous opportunity ! Must I listen to my family, or try a dubious carrer in wich I can fulfil, but lonely and without a good supportive home life ? It’s one of the hardiest choice in a life, but not the most useless... All your life may depend of this choice. We’ll see later that the family is one of the best thing we have, but also that they don’t have to oppose themselves again you... We won’t be able to find an answer “yes” or “no”, only a moderated result. 120

To begin, we can say that the family is essential to have a good life... Without it, achieve his dreams is very difficult... So, if you have to choose between your family and your career, I think it would be better to stay with your own close relations... Try to imagine what would you be if your family wasn’t here, with you : nothing. So, leaving his family is very risky... Especially if your carrer is missed : you would want to return with all your family, but I think they won’t agree ! You’ll never see again them... Even if they forgive you, it’ll not be like if you had not leave them before. So, I think that if I have to choose between the two things, I’ll stay with my family... Because you can win something if you listen to your heart, but you can also lose so much... It’s too risky for me. 151

But, on the other hand, will the family disapprove of your choice, if it’s really a good choice ? I think the answer is : no. You can trust your family... They love you ; if something is good for you, they will allow you ! So, if they disapprove of your plan, you can be sure you’ll not succed in this career. This is an other advantage wich you have thanks to your family ! We come again to the family... It’s a very good thing when you have to decide something : if all your family is agree, you can go full speed ahead ! For exemple, John Crown is not only “olf-fashioned”. He love his girl, and want the best for her. Here, it’s the same thing. For me, my heart will always be turned where my family is. And I think if everybody would do like me, happyness will be everywhere ! But, if you’re sur of your choice, follw your heart !1 80

To conclude, I can say that everybody has his own mind on this point... Me, I’ll follow my family... But if I’m sure that I want to do something, I think I will, even if everybody around me. Why ? Because I’m proud, very proud. And I would like to prove to everybody I was right. But if I’m not really sure, I will ask all my close relations, my friends and the others, and follow their mind. Like said in the introduction, there is not a general answer... Anybody have his own. We’ve seen it’s risky to leave his family. We can now ask :”Who is ready to face the risk ?” . But it’s an other question...

Quelles sont vos opinions sur mon travail ? Qu´en pensez-vous en général ?

!

C´est si mauvais ?

franchement..... c´est bon.
Mais certaines phrases sont un peu "lourdes" on sent le passage du français vers l´anglais.

Oui, on me reproche souvent celà...
Ca vient peut-être du fait que je fais toujours de longues phrases en français...

sans doutes...
en allégeant un peu, ça sera bon.

Ok

Mais sinon, le respect du sujet et tout mon blabla, ça va, c´est cohérent ?

pour moi , c´est ok

Parfait, merci !

Mais en fait ,j´avais un peu peur de faire trop "dissert"...
D´habitude, en anglais, c´était juste faire un paragraphe... Alors là, en faisant une intro, un dévellopement et une conclusion, ça me faisait un peu peur...

franchement, tu t´en sors bien, on ne dirait pas que c´est en premiére S...

Perso, on fait le même genre de choses en DUT cette année...

Ba en fait c´était 250 mots en moyenne...
Vu que je la fais toujours sur l´ordi où ça ecrit plus gros que moi, ba j´ai l´impression de rien faire, alors que je fais la moitié dans l´introduction...

Remarque, c´est peut être pas une bonen chose...

• Le pessimiste*

tu devais faire que 250 mots ?
un conseil, essaie de respecter la consigne à +/- 10% .

Euh vous avez un outils sur un logiciel qui permet de voir combien on a de mot ?

Un pote qui parle couramment anglais à fait 800 mots !

bah....sous word....
outils, statisques

Conseil pour un essai avec un nombre de mot maxi...

Vous prennez un papier une règle et vous tracez 10 colonnes.
Vous verrez ainsi combien de mots il vous reste en un clin d´oeil!

590 mots, merci Callix !

Bien vu Mily !