Slt Tout le ptit monde !
Voilà en fait ma prof nous a donné une rédac en anglais...On doit écrire une lettre pour rassurer notre famille car on a eu un accident de bateau en Australie. Le but est de raconter les faits et de rassurer la famille. Voilà ce que j´ai fait ( on doit faire 300mots..et oui c´est long) Merci de me donner votre avis, de me conseiller ou de me corriger ! !

Dear Sister,
First, it’s important to tell you why you didn’t hear from us. As you can see in my letter, we are at Sydney Hospital because we had an accident. I have to reassure you about that. I’m going to explain to you what happened exactly.

As you know, we dreamed to discover Australia that’s why this year we decided to go there. John, Amanda, Jack and me chose to go to a hotel in Sydney. After some days, as we had ever discovered in details the place, we decided to rent a boat, the children were 100overjoyed. Moreover the weather conditions were ideal, all things were rights: a beautiful day on the horizon. We went Northward of Sydney. But, in few minutes, the weather degraded, as the elements were furious. The Storm destroyed our boat and we had been projected in the water, it was a real nightmare, we were so afraid! However we had the chance to arrive on a very little island. The children were safe but Jack had been injured by the explosion of the boat. He was between the life and the death, I can’t imagine again, it was insufferable. I don’t know how but the200 coastguards had been prejudiced of the accident. Thanks to them, we had been rescued. By arriving to the hospital, Jack had been operated and doctors and psychologists examined John, Amanda and me. Children were extremely shocked but they had just scratch and me too, whereas their dad had several broken limbs.
Now, we are at the Hospital for some days because Jack always has to stay in bed. You can be reassured, all things are right now, there’s no problem anymore. I think we will go back to Canada on the 20th of September. With all our love,

Jessy, John, Amanda and Jack. +++

PS: Could you inform the Jack’s family for me? Thanks a lot.

Dsl . ..100 et 200 ds le texte sont mes repères de nombre de mots :-s

j´ai pas un super niveau en anglais ( je suis qu en seconde ) mais j´ai relevé quelques petites fautes : Dear Sister,
First, it’s important to tell you why you didn’t HAVE NEWS FROM US ( c ce que moi j aurais mis ) . As you can see in my letter, we are at Sydney Hospital because we had an accident. I have to reassure you about that je trouve cette phrase un peu lourde , remplace par " DON´T WORRY. I’m going to explain to you what happened exactly.

As you know, OUR DREAM WAS to discover Australia that’s why this year we decided to go there. John, Amanda, Jack and me choOse to go to a hotel in Sydney. After FEW ( je pense que c mieux) days, as we had ever discovered in details the place, we decided to rent a boat, ( je pense qu il ne faut pas mettre " the") children were 100overjoyed. Moreover the weather conditions were ideal, all things were rights: a beautiful day on the horizon. We went Northward of Sydney. But, in few minutes, the weather degraded, as the elements were furious. The Storm destroyed our boat and we had been projected in the water, it was a real nightmare, we were so afraid! However we had the chance to arrive on a very little island. The children were safe but Jack had been injured by the explosion of the boat. He was between the life and the death, I can’t imagine IT again, it was insufferable. I don’t know how but the200 coastguards had been prejudiced of the accident. Thanks to them, we had been rescued. By arriving to the hospital, Jack had been operated and doctors and psychologists examined John, Amanda and me. Children were extremely shocked but they had just scratch and me too, whereas their dad had several broken limbs.
Now, we are at the Hospital for some days because Jack always moi j aurais pas mis " always" has to stay in bed. You can be reassured, all things are right now, there’s no problem anymore. I think we will go back to Canada on the 20th of September. With all our love,

Jessy, John, Amanda and Jack. +++

Voila , sa devrais etre bon

Merci [mi] ! ! C´est vrai que de ttes manières, seul, on a du mal à prendre du recul...c´est mieux d´avoir un 2ème avis ! !

Dear Sister,
First, it’s important to tell you why you hadn’t any news from us. As you can see in my letter, we are currently at Sydney Hospital because we had an accident. You should not get worried about that. I’m going to explain to you what happened exactly.

As you know, we dreamed about discovering Australia that’s why this year we decided to go there. John, Amanda, Jack and me have chosen to go to a hotel in Sydney. Few days after, as we had ever discovered in details the place, we decided to rent a boat, children were 100overjoyed ( un peu lourd moi j´aurais mis really glad).

Moreover the weather conditions were ideal, everything was right: a beautiful day on the horizon. We went Northward of Sydney. But, after few minutes, the weather degraded, as the elements were furious. The Storm destroyed our boat and we were projected in the water, it was a real nightmare, we were so afraid! However we had the chance to arrive on a tiny island.

Children were safe but Jack has been injured by the explosion of the boat. He was so hurted, it was really hard for me to handle it. I don’t know how but the 200 coastguards were prejudiced of the accident. Thanks to them, we have been rescued. By arriving to the hospital, Jack was operated and doctors and psychologists examined John, Amanda and me.

Children were extremely shocked but they had just scratch and so had I, whereas their dad had several broken limbs.
Now, we are at the Hospital for some days because Jack still has to stay in bed. You can be reassured, everything is gonna be alright now, there’s no problem anymore. I think we will go back to Canada on the 20th of September. With all our love

Merci Vulk1 ! La relecture avec tes modif m´a permis de voir que certaines phrases étaient bien lourdes...En tout cas ça permet d´acquerir s´autres façons de tourner les phrases. MErci encore