sujet: Technology has made the world a better place to live!

First I think that technology has made the world a better place to live because technology include the progress. Medecine´s progress enables to save many life. For example, thanks to robots, it´s easier to operate on injured person. Also, the internet is an important progress. In fact, thanks to it, people can find a job in different advertisement. The internet enables people to amuse oneself with videogames online. Furthermore, the internet enables people to communicate even when they are far from each other.

voila mon 1er paragraphe dite moi les erreurs etc...
merci
ps: je mettrai le 2e paragraphe aprés et si quelqu´un a des conseils pour l´intro et la conclu c´est bienvenue

svp dites moi si ces phrases sont correctes:

-Medecine´s progress enables to save many life.
-it´s easier to operate on injured person.
-The internet enables people to amuse oneself with videogames online.
-Technology isn´t only beneficial to people.
-...workers are replace with machine, for example in the cars factory
-...as much in a personnal viewpoint as in a world viewpoint.

merci

First I think that technology has made the world a better place to live because technology includes the progress. Medicine’s progress enables to save many lives. For example, thanks to robots, it’s easier to operate on injured person. Also, Internet is an important progress. In fact, thanks to it, people can find a job in different advertisement. Internet enables people to amuse oneself with videogames online. Furthermore, Internet enables people to communicate even when they are far from each other.

workers are replaced with machine

point of view, not viewpoint

merci c´est simpa mec
ma suite est :

On the other hand, technology isn´t only beneficial to people. Technology create pollution because of cars, factory, chemical products. Consequently, there are global warming, greenhouse effect, watter pollution. Technology increase unemployment because workers are replace with machine, for example in the car factory.
In my opinion, I think technology is essantial because it enables to do a lot of things as much in a personnal viewpoint as in a world viewpoint. Technology enables to me to amuse oneself with videogames, to communicate with my friends after school trought the internet, to listen music when I want. I don´t experience a world without technology sa I can´t really imagine that.