http://www.humour.com/images/images/aol.jpg

pour les cons y´en a partout donc les panneaux doivent proliferer lol

mdr aol très réaliste

http://lelombrik.free.fr

c lolant aussi ^^

bof . ..

Voici maintenant quelques blagues pour nos amis anglophones ( et puis aussi pour apporter un peu d´originalité)

Nos services de renseignements ont intercepté cette conversation à la Maison Blanche

TEXTO :

|
| ( We take you now to the Oval Office with Condoleeza Rice &
|George Bush...)
|
| George: Condi! Nice to see you. What´s happening?
|
| Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
|
| George: Great. Lay it on me.
|
| Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
|
| George: That´s what I want to know.
|
| Condi: That´s what I´m telling you.
|
| George: That´s what I´m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
|
| Condi: Yes.
|
| George: I mean the fellow´s name.
|
| Condi: Hu.
|
| George: The guy in China.
|
| Condi: Hu.
|
| George: The new leader of China.
|
| Condi: Hu.
|
| George: The Chinaman!
|
| Condi: Hu is leading China.
|
| George: Now whaddya asking me for?
|
| Condi: I´m telling you Hu is leading China.
|
| George: Well, I´m asking you. Who is leading China?
|
| Condi: That´s the man´s name.
|
| George: That´s who´s name?
|
| Condi: Yes.
|
| George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
|leader of China?
|
| Condi: Yes, sir.
|
| George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was
|in the Middle East!
|
| Condi: That´s correct.
|
| George: Then who is in China?
|
| Condi: Yes, sir.
|
| George: Yassir is in China?
|
| Condi: No, sir.
|
| George: Then who is?
|
| Condi: Yes, sir.
|
| George: Yassir?
|
| Condi: No, sir.
|
| George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new
|leader of China.
|Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
|
| Condi: Kofi?
|
| George: No, thanks.
|
| Condi: You want Kofi?
|
| George: No.
|
| Condi: You don´t want Kofi.
|
| George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
| And then get me the U.N.
|
| Condi: Yes, sir.
|
| George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
|
| Condi: Kofi?
|
| George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
|
| Condi: And call who?
|
| George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
|
| Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
|
| George: Will you stay out of China?!
|
| Condi: Yes, sir.
|
| George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy
|at the U.N.
|
| Condi: Kofi.
|
| George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
| ( Condi picks up the phone.)
|
| Condi: Rice, here.
|
| George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too...maybe we
|should send some to the guy in China! And the Middle East. Can you get
|Chinese food in the Middle East?

Et maintenant, une histoire de blondes en anglais !

MDR

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
" Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
" Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you
are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I´m a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,

" Nah, Not if I´m gonna have to explain it five times."

Voici une sélection de questions réellement posées à
des témoins par des avocats durant des procès aux
Etats-Unis et, dans certains cas, il y a la réponse
donnée par des témoins qui ont le sens de la répartie.
Ces phrases sont extraites d´un livre appelé " Disorder
in the Court."

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can´t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn´t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn´t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

ouais ba moi l´anglais

Merci Iso de penser aux anglophones comme moi excellent

Diebin, Ok tu n´aimes pas l´anglais, je le conçois, mais ne te permets ce genre de reflexion négative vis à vis de cette langue. Moi j´en ai autant pour l´allemand.

j´ai pas dit que j´aimais pas l´anglais, c juste que je comprend rien

c´était excellent! MDR

allez là-dessus c´est délirant : http://www.bushisms.com

" You´ve heard Al Gore say he invented the internet.
Well, if he was so smart, why do all the addresses begin with " W"?"
--10-28-00 Headline News - Miami