Le professeur d´anglais se fait inspecter. L´inspecteur s´installe au fond de la classe à coté du petit Denis.
L´enseignante propose aux élèves de faire des traductions oralement.
- Qui peut me traduire " My dog is black" ?
- Moi, moi ! dit Denis en levant le doigt.
- Je t´écoute.
- Quel beau cul elle a celle la!
- Ciel ! Tu es renvoyé du cours petit malpoli!

Le petit Denis remballe ses affaires dans son sac et en quittant sa place pour prendre la porte dit à l´inspecteur :
- Quand on ne sait pas, on ne souffle pas la réponse.

yeaaahhhhhhhh 1 page en 10min yeahhhhhhhhh

Une blonde demande à un gars dans la rue :
- Excusez-moi monsieur ! Quelle heure est-il ?
- Il est 12h15 mademoiselle.
L´étonnement se lit sur la figure de la blonde :
- Ca c´est vraiment bizarre : J´ai posé cette question plusieurs fois dans la journée et, à chaque fois, j´ai eu une réponse différente !

Alors hein c ki le roi du flood? je suis passer en coup de vent mais ca ressemble plus a une tornade mdr

Je precise qd mm ke toute c blagues viennes du forum true crime et que je rend hommage a leur createurs

Voleur!
Alors tu y est passé?

Moi,j´ai une blague:(tu l´as pt´ête vu sur le forum true crime,je les ai aussi postées là-bas!)

Pourquoi les blondes utilisent-elles du dentifrice pour laver leur pulls?

REP:car il y a écris dessus:rafraichi l´haleine et répare l´émail.

une autre:

trois filles vont cambrioler un entrepot:une blonde,une brune,et une rousse.Le gardien arrive et les filles se cachent dans des sacs.Le gardien tape dans le 1er,là où est cachée la brune:
" -miaaou!miaaou!...
-Ah! ça va ce n´est qu´un chat!"
Puis il va taper dans l´autre,là où il y a la rousse:
" -wouaf!wouf!...
-Ah ça va ce n´est qu´un chein!
Il va ensuite taper dans le sac de la blonde:
" patate,patate,patate...

Encore une autre:
Commen une blonde allume-t-elle la lumière après avoir fais l´amour?

REP:Elle ouvre la portière!

Suivante:
Comment fait une blonde pour tuer un poisson?

REP:Elle le noie!

Puis une autre:

Comment assoir 4 blondes sur un tabouret?

REP:Tu le retourne.

Et ensuite:

Qu´estc-ce qu´une blonde avec une mèche brune?

REP:Une lueure d´espoir!

Encore:

Une blonde va chez le coiffeur avec un wolkman aux oreilles.Le coiffeur lui demande de l´enlever:
" -Madame,pouvez-vous enlever ce baladeur SVP?
-Non!
-Mais je ne pourait pas vous coiffer!
-Mon pt´it copain m´a dit que si je l´enlevait,je mourait!"
Après 20mn de discution,la blonde cède et enlève son wolkman,et là,elle tombe raide morte.
Le coiffeur prend le wolkman et il entend:inspire..expire..inspire..expire.....

Et la dernière:

Humour.net!

Je peux flooder avec vous ? ??

Tu sais que je crois que t´as oublié un o et un n à ton pseudo!

oh ke c intelligent biensur tu peu flooder aller vient et poste des blagues et omor si t pas content toublie que c moi ki est fait les topic :p

aller du nerf +1 +1 +1

encore un

1de+!Mais cétait pour rire meph!

Biensur qu´il peut flooder avec nous.

AAAAALLLLLLEEEEEERRRRRR!PPPPOOOOSSSTTTTEEEEZZZZZZ!

PPPPPOOOOSSSSSTTTTTEEEEEZZZZ

poupoupidou ouuuuu +1

vous pouvez aller poster sur mon forum qui est un peu vide svp pas de flood http://forum.aceboard.net/index.php?login=16067

tu te prend pour marilyn monroe

que les fans de linkin park se réveille

Linkin Park - From The Inside
Meteora

I don´t know who to trust, no surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust, and the lies

Trying not to break but I´m so tired of this deceit
Everytime I try to make myself get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this, all the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me

Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
Cause I swear for the last time
I won´t trust myself with you

Tension is building inside, steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me

Trying not to break but I´m so tired of this deceit
Everytime I try to make myself get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this, all the tiring time between
And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me

Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
Cause I swear for the last time
I won´t trust myself with you...

I won´t waste myself on you! you! you!
Waste myself on you! you! you!

I´ll take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
Cause I swear for the last time
I won´t trust myself with you

Everything from the inside
And just throw it all away
Cause I swear for the last time
I won´t trust myself with you! you! you!

Linkin Park - Faint
Meteora

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it´s like no matter what I do, I can´t convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I´m not
But I´ll be here cause you want what I´ve got

[Chorus]
( I can´t feel the way I did before)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)
( Time won´t heal this damage anymore)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don´t understand I do what I can but sometimes I don´t make
sense
I say what you never wanna say but I´ve never had a doubt
It´s like no matter what I do I can´t convince you for once just to hear
me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I´m not
But I´ll be here ´cause you’re all that I´ve got

[Chorus]
( I can´t feel the way I did before)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)
( Time won´t heal this damage anymore)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)

( Now)
( Hear me out now)
( You´re gonna listen to me, like it or not)
( Right now)
( Hear me out now)
( You´re gonna listen to me, like it or not)
( Right now)

( I can´t feel the way I did before)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)

[Chorus]
( I can´t feel the way I did before)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)
( Time won´t heal this damage anymore)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)

[Chorus]
( I can´t feel the way I did before)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)
( Time won´t heal this damage anymore)
( Don´t turn your back on me)
( I won´t be ignored)

I can´t feel
I won´t be ignored
Time won´t heal
Don´t turn your back on me
I won´t be ignored

chanter avec moi

Marilyn Manson - This Is A New Shit
The Golden Age Of Grotesque

Everything´s been said before
There´s nothing left to say anymore
When it´s all the same
You can ask for it by name

Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don´t forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don´t forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along

Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow´s never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it

Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don´t forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Everything´s been said before
There´s nothing left to say anymore
When it´s all the same
You can ask for it by name

Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow´s never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it

Now it´s you-know-who
I´ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don´t care
Now it´s you-know-who
I´ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don´t care
Now it´s you-know-who
I´ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don´t care
Now it´s you-know-who
I´ve got the you-know-what
I stick it in the you-know-where
You know why, you don´t care

Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don´t forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along

Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?
Stand up and admit it, tomorrow´s never coming
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it
Do we need it? NO!
Do we want it? YEAH!
This is the new shit
Stand up and admit it

Let us
We´re entertaining you
Let us
We´re entertaining you
Let us
We´re entertaining you
Let us
We´re entertaining you
Let us
We´re entertaining you

essayer de traduire quelque mot

Marilyn Manson - Doll-dagga Buzz-buzz Ziggity-zag
The Golden Age Of Grotesque

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag
Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

All the goose step girlies with the cursive faces
We know it´s all braile beneath their skirts
A bulletproof biz-op and swing heil
I don´t really care what gentlemen prefer

Say all you pindown girls with bonafied ballers
So manically depressed and manically dressed
We got a venus not in furs but in uniforms
If you´re not dancing, then you´re dead

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag
Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

All the thug rock kids are playing
All the punk got angels saying
Tell all the rest of them we don´t even know

All the thug rock kids are playing
All the punk got angels saying
Tell all the rest of them we don´t even know

GO! GO! GO! Doppelgangers!
You´re one of us! You´re one of us!

GO! GO! GO!
Throw your cheek, doppelgangers
You´re one of us!

Trouble now junkies ain´t silver tongued
Marching down the stairway to substance
Cocaingels and asses give me opium masses
Tell your church-born preachers we´ll fill up your glasses

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

All the thug rock kids are playing
All the punk got angels saying
Tell all the rest of them we don´t even know

All the thug rock kids are playing
All the punk got angels saying
Tell all the rest of them we don´t even know

GO! GO! GO! Doppelgangers!
You´re one of us! You´re one of us!

GO! GO! GO!
Throw your cheek, doppelgangers
You´re one of us!

You´re one of us!
You´re one of us!

GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

And all the thug rock kids GO!
And all the punk got angels GO!
You´re one of us now
You´re one of us, so GO! GO! GO!

And all the thug rock kids GO!
And all the punk got angels GO!
You´re one of us now
You´re one of us, so GO! GO! GO!

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

Doll-dagga buzz-buzz ziggety-zag
Got my grotesque burlesque drag

You´re one of us!

Quelle belle chanson!Malheureusement,je comprend que de chi!